i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize