pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
