I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You don't make any sense
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