you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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