So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
