Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
