i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
whose parrot is this?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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