he wants to bone in the snuggie
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
