If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
