Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We have started to decorate penises.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
