ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
