i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
