I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
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I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
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I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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