16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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