sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She even gives head with a lisp.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
