I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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