I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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