have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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