Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
