Don't you send me to vm
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
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she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
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Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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