Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
