and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize