there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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