We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I understand Curling. That high.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
