i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
