Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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