it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
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And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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