I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The air was thick with penises
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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