We're like a lot better than the average bears
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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