The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
