when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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