Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
