what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
there's paper in my vomit.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
