Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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