did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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