Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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