i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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