no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
