Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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