; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
