I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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