There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
