I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
