My room smells like vodka and shame
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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