my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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