my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
