Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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