Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
