his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
