you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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