I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize