took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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