At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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