We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
