I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.