does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
my being single is dangerous.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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