lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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