that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
